Throwback Thursday: India.Arie – “Brown Skin”

Sunny, light-breeze, jah feel. All this is laced perfectly with the sultry sounds smooth as India.Arie’s brown skin. Speakin of brown-skin, Sweet Potato didn’t deserve that $hit from Ben. Sweet Potato can represent however Sweet Potato sees fit that day. You know I love your brown skin!

Throwback Thursday: Watch The Old “It’s Not You It’s Me” Routine

There’s never a right way or time to say goodbye to a bad week, your school year or even sweet potato. Even if you spare their feelings, they’ll get mad you spared their feelings. So I guess that’s one way to do it, BEN!

Potato Of The Day Episode 19

Well this is starting to get old… Look, Sweet Potato, sit down. We need to talk.

It’s just… I guess what I’m trying to say is… well… this isn’t working out. We’ve talked about it before. About how you lie about your color, how you pretend to be something you’re not, how you wear those fake labels. I just can’t put up with this routine anymore.  Nope. I just can’t.

You and I both know why you decided to become a fry. No, don’t try to twist this on me. Yes, I said I found Crinkle Cut Fries attractive. No, I didn’t say I wanted YOU to become a fry. Yes, I’m sure you’re delicious as a fry, but once again you’re missing the point. I said Crinkle Cut Fries are so hot right now. Not Sweet Potato Fries are so hot right now. Stop trying to be something you’re not. You didn’t even get the crinkle cut look.

You’re a sweet potato, Sweet Potato. But maybe you’re just too sweet for me. That’s not really how potatoes are supposed to taste. You’re your own thing. You’re better off without me. You’re better off outside of the Potato Of The Day world. Someday, you’re going to look back at all of this, and you’re going to laugh. You will. You’re going to be okay. You’re going to find a nice yam or kumara and settle down, making Thanksgiving dinners and holiday pies.

But this has to stop. At least for now. And I know this is hard to hear, but you have to hear it. It’s not me, it’s you. It’s your fault for not being true to yourself. But if you ever change, if you ever decide to be yourself, if that day ever comes, call me. I’ve always thought we would make pretty good friends.

Watch This Bro Get Shamefully Shoved To The No-Flex-Zone By Lady Lumps

The timing of the song and announcer are as brutal as Brutus in this public brossassination. “BOW in the presence of greatness” right as the young lady takes-it-off… his ego that is.

When you start working out, you might see some improvements you’re proud of. That’s good, that’s GREAT! KEEP GOIN! But, word of advise – don’t get gassed up by the Flex Cam (that’s a thing apparently). Hogan Knows Best, not you.

Bruh-bruh, that pose looks WAY better in the mirror. Keep it there, for now. No judgement from this African, but know ya role, stay in ya lane. Otherwise you might get EXTRA in public, then your ego gets to join your gains in the NO FLEX… ZONE. YOU KNOW BETTER!

Ben’s Diary: I’m Not Sure If This Spam Email Is Supposed To Make Me Hungry Or Horny

Dear Diary,

I’m not sure if this spam email is supposed to make me hungry or horny.

Confession: I’m a weirdo who likes to read everything that gets caught in my spam filter. It’s actually a lot of fun for me. It’s a great exercise in remembering that I’m a (relatively) sane, well-adjusted human being. Seriously, the shit that gets sent to me is downright baffling. I’m not talking about the normal smattering of spam, the dick growth pills, the warlord bank deposits, and the offers for computer colonic cleanses. I’m talking about the bat-shit crackpots that send me direct emails and rambling nonsense, their words staggering paragraphs of diarrhea seemingly without coherent or rational thought.

Morning Commute: “Prayin'” – Plan B