May The Fourth Be With You: A Reminder Animals Aren’t Uprising, Siya

A brief synopsis for the uninitiated: May 4th is Star Wars Day because, much like this blog, fans of Star Wars enjoy puns. Wait, what pun you ask? Oh wow, you’re REALLY uninitiated, huh? I don’t have time to explain the whole series of films to you. They’re dope. Go watch them. (Yes, even the newer ones dude. Just don’t try to find logic in that shit.) And may (May) the (the) Force (4th) be (be) with (with) you (you), I guess!

What we have above is a cosplaying puppy. Also, what we have here is proof, once again, that animals are stupid. That puppy is cosplaying as an Ewok, a fictional race of teddy bears that fight with sticks and rocks against intellectually superior races of aliens armed to the teeth with technologically superior weapons like moon-sized lasers that can destroy entire planets. A lot of people hate Ewoks. I don’t. I like cute shit, yo. But no one is afraid of Ewoks. Ewoks aren’t something to aspire to. Ewoks, while cute, exist entirely for ridicule and shame.

That dog chose to be an Ewok, Siya. An Ewok! Out of all of the hundreds of options of killers, and badasses, and heroes that dog had to chose from, it chose a teddy bear. Animals are dumb. STOP BEING AFRAID OF THEM.

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