5 Reasons To Pour Haterade All Over Steph Curry’s Life

So much hate flows through the veins on the eve of the NBA Finals. While the most polarizing character may still be Lebron James for some idiots who secretly wish he chose Chicago on “The Decision”, and are just mad he’s ballin so hard that he approaches the top of Mount Jordan with each new game, stat, and season he checks off, this African directs his hatention towards his light-skinned-brethren in the Bay Area. Splash Brother #1, Steph Curry just has life WAY TOO FIGURED OUT, and here’s the proof:

Here’s Steph cooking with his gorgeous wife, Ayeesha. You might say,”So what? Plenty families cook, Siya!”. Okay, but do they cook to the tune of a Drake song with a line dedicated their family’s namesake, that they then meticulously remix to fit said cooking? DIDN’T THINK SO! Drake made it a hot line, they made it a hot song:

Here’s Splash Broseph Stalin at the Warriors practice facility. Forget about the one handed half-court shot. Forget that it was no-look. Forget that it was BEHIND HIS BACK. Forget all that for one second. But, look at that swaggerific strut away from the scene of the heinous crime. As if he does this all day, everyday, and twice on Sundays! Who does this guy THINK HE IS? King James, please attend to this!

Speaking of King James, back when he was in Miami and could afford to be liberal with praise of the young-gunner (while $hittin on Chalmers as was routinely necessary in those days). “THREE HESIS? You a BAD muh*ucka“

… Ofcourse that was before Golden State was even a contender to get in his way of another championship… these days he keeps his respectful distance

Here are the Curries once again. This time they’re under the iron fist of the bed-time-hatin, press-conference-crashin, nap-mongering “Boss Baby” Judge dictator, Riley Curry. The specialty? Chicken curry, ofcourse!

Convinced yet? Curry’s got it all figured out and I hate it.