Another last minute pivot for this Throwback Thursday. Today it’s for a different reason, though. I want to know how much longer I can resist placing one of my Top classic Rock songs. So, to match a distinctively sick bassline, we called upon Jack White and The White Stripes to get us stompin into Finals Thursday today! PLAY ON!
A couple of weeks ago we said goodbye to the late-show legend, David Letterman. Lurking in the shadows was the (apparently) pipe-smoking, fork-and-knife hot dog eatin man attached to the Colbeard via his face. Stephen Colbert is hard at work getting the revamped Late Show rolling with a new list of familiar Late Night “Show Needs“. Seen in the background, some of these include “Cameras“, “Things to say“, “more things to say“, and a “FRYER“. This African’s all-in already, folks! If you need some convincing, watch the clip yourself. If you’re a millenial, leave some suggestions
High up on that list should probably have been a “band leader”. Letterman had Paul for 30+ years, Fallon’s got the legendary Roots crew. It’s necessary in this format. Well Stephen introduced a new friend of the show this morning!
Jon Batiste is a New Orleans jazz/soul multi-instrumentalist. He’s only 28 years old, but with the charisma he displayed on his appearances on the Colbert Report – no wonder Stephen went ot New Orleans to recruit the guy himself.
Checkout a piece of Batiste and Stay Human on stage
LOL, this apricot has an old man’s butt!
The end.
[Siya’s note: Uh, Ben… We need SIGNIFICANTLY more than ten words for this post.]
Damn it. Okay, that’s fair, but let me explain myself first! I totally wrote more than ten words to start. Initially, I went ahead and brainstormed some names for an apricot with an old man’s butt using weak puns. My favorites were apriBUTT, ASSpricot, and apriCRACK. Then I was all like what if we dig a little deeper and get scientific up in this post? That led me to the solid gold waters of PruANUS armeniaca and Prunus armeniaCAN. Then I was all like, well apricots are basically peaches and that gave me PeaCHEEKes. At that point, WHY NOT TANGERINES? So TUSHYgerines became a really disappointing thing that I wrote on purpose. Then I looked down and got startled because, right at that moment, I was totally jumping the shark.
So I backed it up! I withdrew myself from apripuns (I LIED JUST NOW, DID YOU CATCH THAT? WINK!) and dove into a twisting, long form narrative. I laid out the framework for a harrowing tale of fruit turned monstrosity, a horrid self-devouring entity, an Ouroboros werewolf forever howling at its own moon. But then I realized that entire premise is just a weak mash-up of the zomberry and Uranus posts from earlier in the week. That made me sad. So I took a bite out of that apricot. Then I gagged a little bit because I pictured taking a bite out of an old man’s ass. Then I thought about writing a long, flowing poetic interpretation of cannibalism, but then I realized I’ve already written about cannibalism. So I ate more and more of that apricot, until there was nothing left but the seed. I stared at it for longer than I care to admit, when I was suddenly kicked in my own ass by an apropiphany (Apricot and ephiphany. Yes, I know these are getting weak.) about how that seed sort of looked like snot, BUT THEN I REALIZED THAT’S LITERALLY WHAT I WROTE ABOUT YESTERDAY.
As you can imagine, it’s pretty frustrating to have nothing but terrible, recycled ideas smoldering in your brain. But I try to view myself in the holiest of glowing lights. I’m a narcissist, remember? So I geared back up and was all ugh, fine, whatever, LET’S DO THIS THING. And promptly cranked out the following post:
LOL, this apricot has an old man’s butt!
The end.
Satisfied?
[Siya’s note: You know what… phuck it. Never mind, GREAT JOB BEN.]
THE FINALS ARE HERE! THE FINALS ARE HERE! THE FINALS ARE HERE! Are you fucking ready or what?
It’s been a while since I’ve dove off the deep end into some NBA coverage. But dude… IT’S THE FINALS. LEBRON VS CURRY. MVP VS MVP. Oh man, I’m ridiculously excited. I had to jump back in! In honor of the best two week stretch of the year, here are some key head to head (but not in the literal matchup-on-the-court basketball sense) battles that will decide the NBA Finals. If you possess superb attention to detail you might notice that I’ve listed the Golden State Warriors player first in every title. That’s because they’re the higher seed. It’s also because *SPOILER ALERT* I think they’re going to win the series. Continue reading The 2015 NBA Finals Preview
Ben and Siya Blog Shit 