Hello again! I hope you enjoyed the summer movie season. Fall is approaching, and with it the return of flying footballs. Since our popular society is built around the sports schedule, it’s inevitably time for football fans around the world to seek out Bleacher Report-sponsored glimmers of hope before that same false hope takes a steaming shit on their face. Like a massive one. Like one of those shits that will start burning through the floor like the acid blood in Alien. All our teams suck.
For the majority of us whose teams are headed for the inevitable disappointing season (and the swelling group that doesn’t give a fuck to begin with), there is hope! Escape to the movies! Fall marks the start of Oscar Season, where studios release potential award suitors alongside their fading summer leftovers, making it the perfect opportunity to hide away from the pains of sport.
Here’s six movies you can use to escape heartbreaking injuries, the annoying dominance of media coverage, and the sound of Siya gurgling Tom Brady’s balls to check for pressure!
The Visit (Sept. 11)
Starring Kathryn Hahn, Ed Oxenbould, and Olivia DeJonge.
Written and Directed (Nice!) by M. (Oh shit)…Night (No! No! No!)… Shyamalan. (*Faint*)
Listen, I know what you are thinking and I agree. This guy has fallen pretty hard since his first two (and only) quality movies. Yet, he almost has an A-Rod quality to him: where he had an awesome opening and since has had to wade through the intense storm of shitting public opinion. It started with the endings of Signs and The Village, all of fucking Lady in the Water and that Evil Plant movie (which is THE BEST movie to hate-drunk-watch) and now it’s sort of cool to see him produce some quality at bats. I actually really enjoyed his television show Wayward Pines (including the twist!) and the early buzz for The Visit might actually indicate a return to form (or at least not FUCKING LADY IN THE WATER).
Black Mass (Sept. 18)
Starring Johnny Depp, Benedict Cumberbatch and Dakota Johnson.
Directed by Scott Cooper. Written by Mark Mallouk and Jez Butterworth (amazing name).
Based on the book Black Mass by Dick Lehr and Gerard O’Neill.
Here we go folks! This is the first of many Oscar-type movies coming down the pipe this Fall. It has many of the core elements of an Academy hopeful: a real life story about the mob, a larger than life main character, a story about the mob, an over-the-top leading man returning to his dramatic routes, a story about the mob, a strong supporting cast… and a story about the mob. Johnny Depp plays complicated real-life mobster Whitey Bulger, in 2D, along with last year’s nominee for Best Actor Benedict Cumberbatch. Hopefully this marks the beginning of his long road to redemption for the visual abomination that was Mortdecai…and Transcendence…and a lot of movies, holy shit. I just want to remember the good Johnny Depp, like when Jack Sparrow was supposed to be a one-off (Oscar nominated) role, before Disney and Tim Burton pulled a Steven Spielberg and George Lucas and double-teamed him to death.
The Martian (Oct. 2)
Starring Matt Damon, Jessica Chastain (MURPH!) and Kristen Wiig.
Directed by Ridley Scott. Written by Drew Goddard.
Based on the novel The Martian by Andy Weir.
This! This is the movie I’m looking forward to the most. It has all of the right pieces to be a smart, well-acted science fiction drama with dashes of good humor. The cast seems crazy (including Donald “B+” Glover!) and the people behind the scenes have the pedigree to make it potentially special. Drew Goddard is a good writer who is well versed in genre writing (Cabin in the Woods, Lost, Daredevil—the Netflix series) and Ridley Scott is a legend who has made incredible impacts on the science fiction genre (not including Prometheus, although it did LOOK cool). Honestly though, the majority of this movie rests on Matt “Not His Fault” Damon’s shoulders, especially since the novel was dominated by his character’s voice. It’ll also depend on how quickly we’ve forgotten his strangely similar part in Interstellar where he was closer to this Matt Damon than this one.
Steve Jobs (Oct. 9)
Starring Michael Fassbender, Kate Winslet and Seth Rogen.
Directed by Danny Boyle. Written by Aaron Sorkin.
Based on the biography Steve Jobs by Walter Isaacson
This is a roster combination that screams Oscar Nomination. Multiple probably. Sometimes just the prestige of those involved can push a movie to be nominated. In this case, we’ll probably get another by-the-numbers biography with quality in character development and dialogue. That, alongside the big hitters in the acting category, could potentially boost an average plot. I’m not saying it couldn’t be something special, it certainly could be a more intense look at the person who was Steve Jobs. However, even good biographical films still tend to latch on to a few specific “darker” moments for a character, while being mostly watered down to fit into the conventional plot structure (42, The Imitation Game, Straight Outta Compton). “But those are good!” some may argue. To which I’ll say: even when you know something is potentially great, it’s cooler when they go all-in and exceed your expectations. I hope Steve Jobs can do that.
Beasts of No Nation (Oct. 16)
Starring Idris Elba, Ama Abebrese and Abraham Attah.
Written and Directed by Cary Fukunaga (True Detective Season One!).
Based on the novel Beasts of No Nation by Uzodinma Iweala.
October 16th is going to be a difficult day to decide what to watch, with three massive movies coming out. Now I could go into detail about the new Steven Spielberg joint Bridge of Spies starring Tom “I’m Just a Lawyer!” Hanks, or the new (ORIGINAL) Gothic horror film Crimson Peak by Guillermo Del Toro. Instead, you should stay home and watch one of the first major films distributed by, and coming out exclusively on, Netflix. It has a lot of interesting elements to it, including one Idris Elba, but most important will be the presence of Cary Fukunaga who’s impact on True Detective was sorely missed during its…uneven second season. His directing and writing combined with a story about a civil war in West Africa could be very interesting. Hopefully, this will be a better movie for Idris Elba as well, the dude deserves a good movie.
Suffragette (Oct. 23)
Starring Meryl Fucking Streep, Carey Mulligan and Romola Garai.
Directed by Sarah Gavron (Female director!). Written by Abi Morgan (Female writer!).
Before we hit the Holiday season, we’ll end with the final meaningful release of October. This film boasts an impressive cast including Academy Award lightning rod Meryl Streep and a quality lead in Carey Mulligan. The women’s suffrage movement in England was an extremely important time in world history when women said “fuck that” to the ignorantly male-dominated society. There are a lot of complex, important figures from the movement, such Emmeline Pankhurst, which will be portrayed by some very good actors. This is the type of film that usually gets a lot of acting and production-based award nominations. Hopefully the story will be as powerful as the actual movement and push this film to the next level.
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