They say “If you come for the king, you better not miss”. WELL, young Brandon is taking clear aim. With confidence in catching Ryan Fitzpatrick lobs this coming season, young Marshall’s plan starts with dropping some weight for speed, and dropping a slight nudge at the NFL’s receiving king, Steeler’s anomaly, Antonia Brown. See if you catch his last sentence and side-eye on the gram:
But WAIT, THERE’S MORE: Now that Brandon done shed a few pounds (as well as a terrible quarterback or two), he doubled down with a lot less subtlety aiming at the step-pyramid-shaped head of the number one receiver in the game with a crazy car bet. OKAY. I’ll let this genius tell it himself for you to believe it. Click the video below:
Big Ben (no, not the blog one, the other one) couldn’t be reached for commentary at this time. He was said to be considering breaking his own record of TWO 400 + yards games and violating the New York Jets’ Defense. Good luck, Brandon.
P.s.
Antonio can probably us a toy car, and gladly accepted the challenge as he upgraded the paint job on the Rolls
The Germans are known for disciplined and no-nonsense etiquette in all they do (including engineering and soccer). The German soccer head coach however caught steam for being not so disciplined in his public hygiene this UEFA cup. What many might not realize is that this isn’t particularly new for the bundes-booger. Here he is in a different setting digging for golden nuggets:
Yup, he ate that. So if its food for him, no biggie, RIGHT RONALDO?
How bout in the most watched sports event on Earth, the World Cup? That too big a stage for the nose rage?
NOPE… BOTH nostrils. TWO TIME!
Noses are getting boring… why don’t we check some other nether-regions? Deo this morning or nah?
We called it, folks. We said it almost a year to the DATE! Don’t believe us? Just FLASHBACK HERE. You all thought it was cute, and vined it, and replayed it with your #LifeGoals hashtags! But, as always this blog saw through the smokes and mirrors.
My only regret is this line on leniency:”Never mind, Riley. Do watcha want…”
With that small window of appeasement, we opened the door for a young woman in her terrible-twos to enter her 3rd year of charm with the confidence and strut of a media dictator far beyond her years.
Before you watch this disturbing footage, I have to warn you – you will never enter a party, club, church, or even your own home with this much swagger! Here is Riley entering late to Steph Curry’s MVP acceptance speech:
WHO IS SHE TALKING TO? Is that a shout-out or a warning?? Is it “I see you, we cool” or “I see you, BE COOL”??? No words this time, just pointing, strutting, and settling down from the more calm and collected diva, Riley Curry. Those reporters must have felt like a room full of Death Row artists whenever Suge Knight walked in the room!
When asked by field reporters “how do you feel about Riley Curry being the first unanimous toddler MVP?“, rival diva toddler -North West – had nothing but a simple glare in response. The look of “WTF did you just say” spoke volumes and no more questions were asked:
Watch Ya Mouth
She then hopped into her low-profile father’s executive SUV on the way to vacation where the two are said to be in shock at America’s ignorance of the “GREATEST TODDLER OF ALL TIME” – a title that is said to be already contested by her younger brother, Saint who will be graduating from infancy very soon exclusively on TIDAL.
I’m not ready to take the news seriously yet. Not, because I’m delusional or in disbelief but, I honestly always thought of Prince as just some fixture. The mental image of that one-word-entity simply has not changed as long as I’ve been conscious of him because, well the real human hasn’t changed much either throughout the years. He’s also a larger-than-own-life character. What I mean by that is, there is Prince (the apparently air-breathing, water-drinking being capable of passing guy) then there’s the idea of Prince. Unlike most stars, these two were not separate. These beings were one in the same.
They say “all the best artists are a little crazy”. NO WHERE is that more true, sincere, and paradoxically apparent than in real life Prince anecdotes. Here are a few to laugh and gawk at…
1. Prince Vs. Fela Kuti, Questlove & Golf Cart Speed Limits
Prince likes Finding Nemo… A LOT. He demonstrates his appreciation for Questlove but, he definitely loves Finding Nemo more.
Key Quote: “He’s not payin attention and he’s concentrating on being a pool shark. He walks over to my booth and is like ‘play something else‘ ” (paraphrased)
2. Prince Vs. Michael Jackson, Quincy Jones, The World, Justin Bieber, Beck (?), Halle Berry, Larry King, Madonna, Michael Jackson AGAIN, Birthdays and Aging, and Kim Kardasian
The music speaks for itself and will be touched on later. The mind is psychotically genius. The one human part of Prince we can all replicate but, obviously can’t duplicate is the SHADE.
You might roll your eyes, or give a slight “psssh” at perceived peons in your presence.
His Purpleness always found a way to take it to another level – a level “Bye Felicia” couldn’t quite dismiss you enough to. A level deeper than any seat you wish would swallow you up as Prince OWNED you. Mean teenage girls (even of 2016) would look like angels compared to this Divo (which is apparently a word. who knew).
Key Quote: “I can’t be played… a person tryna play ME – plays themselves”
3. Prince Vs. Common Sense In General
This is generally the lengthiest Prince anecdote available and every minute of it unravels more and more layers of Prince mystery that leads to more moments of ‘WTF JUST HAPPENED?”
From mark 11:30 this quote of WTFness ensues Key Quote: “Prince doesn’t comprehend things how you and I do… he’s been living in Prince world for some time now. Prince will say… ‘its 3 o’clock in the morning…in Minnesota I really need a camel. GO GET IT‘… he doesn’t understand why someone can’t process a simple request like that”
4. Prince Vs. Basketball Interviews, Common Sense, and Questlove ANOTHER AGAIN
DAMN Prince! BACK AT IT AGAIN with NO respect for other’s time in general, and a peculiar obsession with 3 AM disturbances!
Key Quote: “We weren’t supposed to call him Prince, and to avoid hitting his head with a basketball I’m like PR—… He brings the ball back, and he’s giggling like ‘na na na na na, YOU didn’t know what to call me‘ ”
My Take: This dude was the best of times, and the best of the worst of times for his friends. He was an inconvenience and difficulty they chose to invite into their lives over and over again for reasons they couldn’t quite comprehend themselves. There should be an ENTIRE podcast or even animated TV series of just Prince anecdotes. They are masterpieces that write themselves. Long Live Prince – King of Shade!
We can’t turn a screen on without being reminded that lunatics are determined blow us up at any moments, sometimes in the most cartoonishly cliche ways possible.
Let’s recount this morning’s Egypt Air fiasco’s details, for instance. Hijacking? CHECK. Plane? CHECK. Terrified Hostages? TRIPLE CHECK – errr well, sort of. One British fellow just couldn’t handle how cliche this Die Hard (or Speed) quasi-villain was.
He just HAD TO GET A SELFIE with this “terrorits”… and guess what? HE DID
Say “Cheeeeez”… fine, I’ll say “Cheez”, you say “Boom” or whatever.
“I figured if his bomb was real I’d nothing lose anyway, so took a chance to get a closer look at it.”
Ben was one of the last 3 British hostages left on the plane after the others were released, and the pilot locked himself in the cockpit, and climbed out the window.
“He eventually let virtually all the passengers leave, but I was left behind with two other Brits… After about half an hour at Larnaca I asked for a photo with him as we were sitting around waiting. I thought, ‘Why not? If he blows us all up it won’t matter anyway” Ben recounted the events for The Sun.
If you’re a stickler for the important details, you’re very much like Ben’s mother who pointed it out upon hearing the news of his idiot/awesome son.
“All we can say is that the picture is clearly not a selfie as everyone has been describing it,” Pauline Innes told The Guardian. “You can clearly see that it is not Ben who is taking the picture. He’s in it but he’s not taking it.”
Warning, this might break the cuteness scale on a level unseen since, well EVER. So prepare yourself. Take a seat. Put your drink down. Are you ready? You’re not… but just hit that play-button (or anywhere on the picture) below anyway! May the lord have mercy on your soul.
Out of the mouth of babes…
[Lowkey she looks ALOT like North West Ye or Nay-Nay?]
The best image of the weekend is the posterchild for the saying “picture is worth a thousand words” It’s the most iconic retirement image of the year from none other than #BEASTMODE
It was supposed to be the retirement of a certain 2 Time Super bowl Champion QB ON THE OCCASION. But such a quarterback who shall remain nameless is feelin himself right now and bordering on Brett Favre diva levels of coy on the question. It’s almost like he didn’t just have the worst quarterback rating and offensive yards in Super Bowl winners history. ANYWAY, this isn’t about him.
This image represents a GRACIOUS man of few words. Like their owner, when it comes to those whats on this photo, what you see is what you got. Hanging up there they almost dare spectators “You know why I’m here“, and promise “I’m about that action!” ✌🏾️
As Future once surmised, “you do watchu want when you poppin”. Well it don’t get mo poppin than being virtually unstoppable by ANY cornerback on the field, and being arguably the best receiver in football (shut up, Julio!). Big Ben knows it when he lobs bombs miles where he knows Brown will reach no matter what, and special teams everywhere better recognize it when they punt to the man. Unless of course they wanna set the mood for Brown and his new found love, the goalpost.
Ben and Siya Blog Shit 