Things I Hope Happen To Chance The Rapper

I hope he goes to the zoo and meets a kangaroo who’s a real chill dude and plays kazoo, and Chance raps over a beat that they produce.

I hope he opens a box of cereal with a prize inside that’s really the Holy Grail in disguise.

I hope he eats a long spaghetti strand and then at the end is Rihanna, and she takes him back to her place for a three-way with 1980s Madonna.

I hope he finds a leprechaun with a pot at the end of a rainbow, but the pot isn’t filled with gold, it’s filled with hugs and love, and he shares it with the whole world.

Finally, I hope he never ever rhymes another word with Fridays. Other than Fridays. Fridays.