They say “If you come for the king, you better not miss”. WELL, young Brandon is taking clear aim. With confidence in catching Ryan Fitzpatrick lobs this coming season, young Marshall’s plan starts with dropping some weight for speed, and dropping a slight nudge at the NFL’s receiving king, Steeler’s anomaly, Antonia Brown. See if you catch his last sentence and side-eye on the gram:
But WAIT, THERE’S MORE: Now that Brandon done shed a few pounds (as well as a terrible quarterback or two), he doubled down with a lot less subtlety aiming at the step-pyramid-shaped head of the number one receiver in the game with a crazy car bet. OKAY. I’ll let this genius tell it himself for you to believe it. Click the video below:
Big Ben (no, not the blog one, the other one) couldn’t be reached for commentary at this time. He was said to be considering breaking his own record of TWO 400 + yards games and violating the New York Jets’ Defense. Good luck, Brandon.
P.s.
Antonio can probably us a toy car, and gladly accepted the challenge as he upgraded the paint job on the Rolls
The Germans are known for disciplined and no-nonsense etiquette in all they do (including engineering and soccer). The German soccer head coach however caught steam for being not so disciplined in his public hygiene this UEFA cup. What many might not realize is that this isn’t particularly new for the bundes-booger. Here he is in a different setting digging for golden nuggets:
Yup, he ate that. So if its food for him, no biggie, RIGHT RONALDO?
How bout in the most watched sports event on Earth, the World Cup? That too big a stage for the nose rage?
NOPE… BOTH nostrils. TWO TIME!
Noses are getting boring… why don’t we check some other nether-regions? Deo this morning or nah?
We called it, folks. We said it almost a year to the DATE! Don’t believe us? Just FLASHBACK HERE. You all thought it was cute, and vined it, and replayed it with your #LifeGoals hashtags! But, as always this blog saw through the smokes and mirrors.
My only regret is this line on leniency:”Never mind, Riley. Do watcha want…”
With that small window of appeasement, we opened the door for a young woman in her terrible-twos to enter her 3rd year of charm with the confidence and strut of a media dictator far beyond her years.
Before you watch this disturbing footage, I have to warn you – you will never enter a party, club, church, or even your own home with this much swagger! Here is Riley entering late to Steph Curry’s MVP acceptance speech:
WHO IS SHE TALKING TO? Is that a shout-out or a warning?? Is it “I see you, we cool” or “I see you, BE COOL”??? No words this time, just pointing, strutting, and settling down from the more calm and collected diva, Riley Curry. Those reporters must have felt like a room full of Death Row artists whenever Suge Knight walked in the room!
When asked by field reporters “how do you feel about Riley Curry being the first unanimous toddler MVP?“, rival diva toddler -North West – had nothing but a simple glare in response. The look of “WTF did you just say” spoke volumes and no more questions were asked:
Watch Ya Mouth
She then hopped into her low-profile father’s executive SUV on the way to vacation where the two are said to be in shock at America’s ignorance of the “GREATEST TODDLER OF ALL TIME” – a title that is said to be already contested by her younger brother, Saint who will be graduating from infancy very soon exclusively on TIDAL.
Invoking Atlanta’s own Cici with the gifs. That’s usually what they say right before the roller coaster violently throws you off in a loop di loop and you’re dead half way through the ride (or in this metaphor, Game 2) starts.
Grey’s Anatomy wit it… or is this General Hospital? I don’t know – I haven’t seen either. That’s just the look the Doc gives you right before he goes in the other room and throws up in horror (trickle back to roller-coaster metaphor up top)
Note the score here… look closer… at the Hawks score pictured… THERE HE IS… The Crying GOAT. No scapegoats for this massacre, though. Everyone was equally helpless and culpable, HAWKS.
The best image of the weekend is the posterchild for the saying “picture is worth a thousand words” It’s the most iconic retirement image of the year from none other than #BEASTMODE
It was supposed to be the retirement of a certain 2 Time Super bowl Champion QB ON THE OCCASION. But such a quarterback who shall remain nameless is feelin himself right now and bordering on Brett Favre diva levels of coy on the question. It’s almost like he didn’t just have the worst quarterback rating and offensive yards in Super Bowl winners history. ANYWAY, this isn’t about him.
This image represents a GRACIOUS man of few words. Like their owner, when it comes to those whats on this photo, what you see is what you got. Hanging up there they almost dare spectators “You know why I’m here“, and promise “I’m about that action!” ✌🏾️
As Future once surmised, “you do watchu want when you poppin”. Well it don’t get mo poppin than being virtually unstoppable by ANY cornerback on the field, and being arguably the best receiver in football (shut up, Julio!). Big Ben knows it when he lobs bombs miles where he knows Brown will reach no matter what, and special teams everywhere better recognize it when they punt to the man. Unless of course they wanna set the mood for Brown and his new found love, the goalpost.
You know why we STILL colloquially refer to dope people in arbitrary clutch moments as “The Real MVP”? THIS IS WHY:
Almost a year to the exact day later, speaking to the very media and spectator audience that praised that heartfelt speech, voted him MVP, and coddled his fledgling superstar public image with the velvet gloves of a french masseuse aaand how does newborn baby K.D. feel about that crew?:
You guys really don’t know (expletive). , I’m only here talking to y’all because I have to… I really don’t care. Y’all not my friends.
Some context: That quote was after he was asked about the validity of then Head Coach Scott Brooks’ pending dismissal from the perpetually underwhelming OKC Thunder, Durant lead. Update: Scott Brooks was fired -_-
For the sake of time, and general apathy we’ll skip every other DuRANT Kevin has had (get it? coz that’s his name? and he RANTS a bunch?) since those tend to involve everything BUT his notable absence from the NBA finals with a very capable squad. Let’s look at his reaction to Kobe Bryant’s retirement.
Kobe’s retirement came as a surprise to the few people who didn’t realize he had a 1 year contract left, and the Lakers are clearly gearing for a complete team rebuild in the post Kobe era (a VERY Kobe-centric era that included curbing 3 time champ, Shaq – and wasting Dwight Howard’s further dwindling window of opportunity in potential greatness). The expectation was that Kobe knows he’s still got something left in the tank for one more season, and won’t look like Wizard’s Jordan, Piston’s Iverson, or Celtic’s Shaq. Needless to say, Kobe explicitly made it clear that he doesn’t want a Derek-Jeter-style farewell tour where players and spectators are “lobbing him softballs” (and going easy on him). TRUE COLD-BLOODED MAMBA FASHION. RESPEK.
So as this 2015 season gets rollin, and Kobe’s shooting EVERY POSSIBLE SHOT (not new) but, scoring 4 pts (that happened). Nobody was gonna give old-man-Bryant an “A for effort”. Bryant himself wouldn’t have it any other way. But know who apparently WOULD? That’s right, Count DuRANTula himself:
“He’s a legend, and all I hear is about how bad he’s playing, how bad he’s shooting and it’s time for him to hang it up. You guys (media/spectators) treated one of our legends like $hit, and I didn’t really like it.”
-_- Kevin. GTFOH. Focus on helping Russell Westbrook and matching his relentless efforts. Wouldn’t it be nice to stand a chance in the treacherous Western Conference one more time before this team’s Championship window inevitably shuts? Maybe take a page out of D. Rose’s book, and just quietly collect checks while pitching in when you can on the court. Congrats on your new-found freedom of speech, hopefully they’ve got championship rings in that same lost-and-found box. You don’t have to be a mute, but all your DuRANTS are starting to get old and moot.
Update – Here’s Kobe’s ACTUAL agreeing with this exact post. We know he’s a reader:
Ben and Siya Blog Shit 