Folks, this is a new and disturbing turn in the coming war to set a new world order of the Animal Kingdom. You might be worried about the NSA tappin em, but the dogs are coming for your cellphones!
Fido waited for his deceased master until he finally joined him in a farm up north 2 years later. Anubis guided the ancient Egyptians through the afterlife, and even Barney stood by POTUS Bush as he choked on that pretzel, got in a fist fight with Cheney fell on the corner of a coffee table, and laid unconscious for minutes. But, were all those acts a ruse? Was all this an act to gain our trust, as these barkin ball-catchers gnaw at our suspicions like the pairs of shoes they all chew as lil runts? {I KNOW YOUR JACK TERRIER TORE MY JORDANS, JANET! THAT’S WHY I PAID FOR NOTHING AT YOUR BARBECUE THIS WEEKEND!}
Ben foreshadowed The Rock’s fate a long time ago, and finally started coming to his senses last week, when he pointed out that this new hip breed of Snoop Doggy Dogs is no longer content with compliance of simple orders like “FETCH. SIT. BEHAVE NORMALLY in this stadium full of loud cheering masses surrounding you on what is probably the best turf of your life” . They’re on a bender to run audibles on their plays, and are more unpredictable than ever. The greatest of our very own humans learned that the hard way this past Labor Day Weekend. We mourn the family pictures and music Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson lost in that mobile phone. Read his horrifying account from his Instagram page:
Hey, Red Onion, can we talk? Sit down. Yeah, you’re going to want to sit. I know that’s a heavy way to start a conversation, but this isn’t some casual chit chat amongst layered friends. This is an intervention. No, no, I know you’re not out there on the ole’ crystal pony, squeezing balloons and warming metal spoons for a hit of life. No, it’s not about the devil’s brew either. I’ve got no problem with your once every lunar cycle night on the town. No, it’s not about your insistence that your Beanie Baby collection will someday be worth the GDP of Malta (but dude, that’s just not going to happen). Then what, you ask? Well if you’d stop asking me questions, I could tell you (and frankly now I’m considering an interruption intervention). You ready? Good. We need to talk about your selfies.
Ben and Siya Blog Shit 