Midnight Snack: J. Cole – “Be Free”(Live on Letterman)

R.I.P Alton Sterling, R.I.P. Philandro Castille.

4 Reasons To Be Excited 4 Colbert, The Greatest Night Show Host

“So, George Bush – GREAT president, or the GREATEST president?” In the golden years of the Colbert Report,”Stephen ” the conservative, loud-mouthed, self proclaimed “truth-feeler” often asked his exasperated guests to answer that one simple question after the 5 minute mental roller coaster of their professional lives.  Tonight, Stephen Colbert debuts to answer a more important question. Here are 4 reasons there is no wrong answer:

1.  Breaking up the JIMMopoly:
Okay, that was slightly terrible, almost as terribly plastic as the content and context has become on the late night tip. The Jimmies are having a field day with ratings, thanks in part to curation for viral video viewership (say that fast 3 times).

When Letterman announced his retirement, he conceded in that old curmudgeon swagger we mentioned on his tribute. In a subsequent Rolling Stone interview he affirmed “I hear about things going viral and I think, ‘How do you do that?’ I think I’m the blockage in the plumbing.”

To date, top Jimmy is pummeling bottom Jimmy so hard in that department, that he went and created another show on a whole other network, and THAT is the #1 Show on THAT network. It’s an entire show where celebrities are lip-syncing other singer’s songs. -_- (I mean REALLY!? What’re we doin here?).

Executive Producer of The Tonight Show, Lorne Michaels now has his hands in creating SNL, subsequently Jimmy Fallon, and now grandfathering America’s karaoke machine. NO ONE MAN SHOULD HAVE ALL THAT unfunny POWER!  Since Colbert Report ended, my 10:30PM (Central) has been basically Charlie Rose only – into Seth Myers, when I’m not too busy hosting sexy parties.  We shouldn’t have to choose between marginally funny, and topically informative and edgy late night. We can have both! We will, on the Late Show With Stephen Colbert

2. Jon Stewart is gone, Long Live Jon Stewart:

Watch Matthew McConaughey Not Being Himself, Hilariously

We paid our tribute to David Letterman a bit ago. One of the legacies he left behind was the Matt Damon to McConaughey impression. He managed to force it out of a reluctant Damon ever since he saw it the first time:

Letterman enjoyed that shirt-off routine too much to let it slide, so he called Matthew back to email pics back and forth?

Then again when America needed a Russian diplomat:

Turns out Matt didn’t mind it at all, and was for SURE gonna take his shirt off:

Bonus: Matthew inexplicably started doing over-the-top Lincoln TV spots, after his Oscar award win. SNL via the help of one Jim Carrey wasn’t gonna let THAT go uunnoticed

Long Live Colbeard, And The New Late Show Bandleader

A couple of weeks ago we said goodbye to the late-show legend, David Letterman. Lurking in the shadows was the (apparently) pipe-smoking, fork-and-knife hot dog eatin man attached to the Colbeard via his face.  Stephen Colbert is hard at work getting the revamped Late Show rolling with a new list of familiar Late Night “Show Needs“.  Seen in the background, some of these include “Cameras“, “Things to say“, “more things to say“, and a  “FRYER“. This African’s all-in already, folks! If you need some convincing, watch the clip yourself. If you’re a millenial, leave some suggestions

High up on that list should probably have been a “band leader”. Letterman had Paul for 30+ years, Fallon’s got the legendary Roots crew.  It’s necessary in this format.  Well Stephen introduced a new friend of the show this morning!

Jon Batiste is a New Orleans jazz/soul multi-instrumentalist.  He’s only 28 years old, but with the charisma he displayed on his appearances on the Colbert Report – no wonder Stephen went ot New Orleans to recruit the guy himself.

Batiste comes as part of a package deal: While he will be the bandleader, he’ll be backed by his current band, which includes a saxophonist and a percussionist, as well as a tubist. Known together as Jon Batiste and Stay Human, the band formed shortly after Batiste graduated from Julliard.

Checkout a piece of Batiste and Stay Human on stage

Tribute To Late Night’s Greatest Curmudgeon, David Letterman

Curmudgeon – (definition) A crusty, ill-tempered, and usually old man.

He’s usually the disgruntled “get off my lawn” guy masterfully portrayed by Clint Eastwood in the dark comedy drama Gran Turino. (Also that one time he chastised an invisible chair he thought was President Obama for like 10 minutes , remember that crazy $hit?).

Thanks A Lot, OBAMA

More comically, the curmudgeon is portrayed by Seinfeld co-creator Larry David in his everyday antagonistic mannerisms on splendid display throughout the legendary improv show “Curb Your Enthusiasm”, none of least being his refusal to give-up the wardrobe of an 8th grader.

“I know I’m an adult, PHUCK YOU.”

“…Fracking.. I’m not smart enough to understand it. Here’s what I know…the greedy oil and gas…(begins ass-ripping)”

Dave found a way to make being senile or “stupid” as animal tricks intellectually funny.  The likes of Jon Stewart and his heir apparent, Stephen Colbert owe their entire shtick and comedic identity to Dave.  The spitballs of truth from the back of America’s classroom made him the old dude we hoped would never graduate, but at some point even Van Wilder gotta go. So, here we are! Dave is gone, LONG LIVE DAVE (unlike the life poisoned by water in fracking zones). Enjoy this sparring session:

Watch 4 Reactions To 4 Time Superbowl Winning Deflategate Troubles

{If you get nothing else from this post, you should leave with some perspective what Deflategate means to New England, the NFL, and the integrity of the great game of Football from THIS Comprehensive Site aptly named “YOURTEAMCHEATS.COM“}

Four is the magic number for this hammer NFL dropped on the Patriots this week. 4 Game Suspension upon Tom Brady the beginning of next season. This after winning his 4th Superbowl by 4 Points. How many quarter-millions were the Patriots fined? 4 of them, adding up to $1 Million Dollars.  In a beautiful ending to the suspension, guess who the first game back is for the future Hall of Famer?  Thaaat’s right, Indianapolis Colts. If you recall, that’s the same crew that raised concerns of losing due to cheating via deflated footballs to start this whole fiasco. Good for them, that 45-7 loss really deflated their hopeful spirits of breaking the domination streak Tom Brady has had over them since 2012.

Until then, join us in laughing at the