Ben’s Diary: I Tried To Learn German But Didn’t

Dear Diary,

Last night I tried to learn German but didn’t.

In a few weeks I’m traveling abroad because my life is dope and I do dope shit.  In preparation I thought it’d be a good idea to start learning some German phrases.  The only problem?  When I went to google German phrases, I accidently googled David Hasselhoff instead.  Common mistake I assume.

Diary, do you know how dope David Hasselhoff is?

The dude has been in some really cool shit.  Sure, he had those iconic roles in Baywatch and Knight Rider (Which, by the way, if you don’t think Knight Rider is permanently embedded in American culture, you need jump into Microsoft Word, type “Night Rider” without the quotes, and watch Clippy’s underground army of underliners flip the fuck out.), but I didn’t realize he had been in so much