Ben’s Diary: Yesterday Was My Birthday But I Didn’t Celebrate It

Dear Diary,

Yesterday was my birthday but I didn’t celebrate it.

Let me start this off by saying I normally love my birthday.  It’s a great day for pot heads, fans of historical baseball architecture, and the stock price of torture in Hell. There’s a lot of wonderful and a lot of terrible shit that has happened on April the 20th.  But also, sometimes it’s Easter, which isn’t cool.  Easter is dumb.  Rabbits don’t have thumbs.  How the hell are they supposed to paint eggs and carry baskets? What an idiotic day.  It’s an Albert Hoffman meets Lewis Carroll hallucinatory holiday, a siphoning swirl of tie dyed eggshells and plastic pastel confetti broken up by the nightmare of Jesus’s bloody palms and headless chocolate house pets.