See Why Idris Elba Can’t Be James Bond

Posted on by Siya

He is a classically trained actor with an immaculate natural British Accent
That’s way too close to who 007 is. Think about it, that could be confusing to the audience. Don’t black actors speak like rappers with their slang?

He is “Too Street”:
AAAHHH YES… Here we are! Remember The Wire? I remember The Wire! That show was as street as it gets! With all it’s street characters, talkin street talk, committing street-on-street crimes in all their street neighborhoods. YUP. Can’t have that. Just doesn’t fit Bond. Let the man of the hour, author of the next 007 Novel, Anthony Horowitz tell it:

For me, Idris Elba is a bit too rough to play the part. It’s not a colour issue. I think he is probably a bit too ‘street’ for Bond.

He doesn’t take his work seriously.
Just look at him foolin around on set, while Captain Kirk tries to keep it serious (like he usually does). Even in this clip, you can see him trying to take the non-street white lines away from a perfectly capable actor. Watch and laugh:

All jokes aside, Continue reading See Why Idris Elba Can’t Be James Bond

Screw Your Football Team; Let’s Go To The Movies!

Posted on by Leland

Hello again! I hope you enjoyed the summer movie season. Fall is approaching, and with it the return of flying footballs. Since our popular society is built around the sports schedule, it’s inevitably time for football fans around the world to seek out Bleacher Report-sponsored glimmers of hope before that same false hope takes a steaming shit on their face. Like a massive one. Like one of those shits that will start burning through the floor like the acid blood in Alien. All our teams suck.

For the majority of us whose teams are headed for the inevitable disappointing season (and the swelling group that doesn’t give a fuck to begin with), there is hope! Escape to the movies! Fall marks the start of Oscar Season, where studios release potential award suitors alongside their fading summer leftovers, making it the perfect opportunity to hide away from the pains of sport.

Here’s six movies you can use to escape heartbreaking injuries, the annoying dominance of media coverage, and the sound of Siya gurgling Tom Brady’s balls to check for pressure! Continue reading Screw Your Football Team; Let’s Go To The Movies!