Kevin Durant

You know why we STILL colloquially refer to dope people in arbitrary clutch moments as “The Real MVP”? THIS IS WHY:

Almost a year to the exact day later, speaking to the very media and spectator audience that praised that heartfelt speech, voted him MVP, and coddled his fledgling superstar public image with the velvet gloves of a french masseuse aaand how does newborn baby K.D. feel about that crew?:

You guys really don’t know (expletive). , I’m only here talking to y’all because I have to… I really don’t care. Y’all not my friends.

Some context: That quote was after he was asked about the validity of then Head Coach Scott Brooks’ pending dismissal from the perpetually underwhelming OKC Thunder, Durant lead.
Update: Scott Brooks was fired -_-

For the sake of time~~, and general apathy~~ we’ll skip every other DuRANT Kevin has had (get it? coz that’s his name? and he RANTS a bunch?) since those tend to involve everything BUT his notable absence from the NBA finals with a very capable squad. Let’s look at his reaction to Kobe Bryant’s retirement.

Kobe’s retirement came as a surprise to the few people who didn’t realize he had a 1 year contract left, and the Lakers are clearly gearing for a complete team rebuild in the post Kobe era (a VERY Kobe-centric era that included curbing 3 time champ, Shaq – and wasting Dwight Howard’s further dwindling window of opportunity in potential greatness). The expectation was that Kobe knows he’s still got something left in the tank for one more season, and won’t look like Wizard’s Jordan, Piston’s Iverson, or Celtic’s Shaq. Needless to say, Kobe explicitly made it clear that he doesn’t want a Derek-Jeter-style farewell tour where players and spectators are “lobbing him softballs” (and going easy on him). TRUE COLD-BLOODED MAMBA FASHION. RESPEK.
So as this 2015 season gets rollin, and Kobe’s shooting EVERY POSSIBLE SHOT (not new) but, scoring 4 pts (that happened). Nobody was gonna give old-man-Bryant an “A for effort”. Bryant himself wouldn’t have it any other way. But know who apparently WOULD? That’s right, Count DuRANTula himself:

“He’s a legend, and all I hear is about how bad he’s playing, how bad he’s shooting and it’s time for him to hang it up. You guys (media/spectators) treated one of our legends like $hit, and I didn’t really like it.”

-_- Kevin. GTFOH. Focus on helping Russell Westbrook and matching his relentless efforts. Wouldn’t it be nice to stand a chance in the treacherous Western Conference one more time before this team’s Championship window inevitably shuts? Maybe take a page out of D. Rose’s book, and just quietly collect checks while pitching in when you can on the court. Congrats on your new-found freedom of speech, hopefully they’ve got championship rings in that same lost-and-found box. You don’t have to be a mute, but all your DuRANTS are starting to get old and moot.

Update – Here’s Kobe’s ACTUAL agreeing with this exact post. We know he’s a reader:

http://espn.go.com/video/clip?id=espn:14271097

“Everyone needs a champ” is the title of this campaign. It’s beautiful, inspiring, and a great way for your sports heroes to show some love back to the 3-5 lucky few of you American Family Insurance picked. Maybe I’m just being sinister on this Tuesday, but all I saw was “nice concentration on that dance routine, AMANDA – hope you don’t blow it when your heroes bang on the window of your dance studio! OOPS“. Or maybe, “skate, skate, skate, KRYSTAL – now don’t freak out and crash into your teammates when J.J. Giant trolls you then chases RUSTY down for 26 miles straight”

It’s either that or whatever the intended message was. Check the short clip out for yourself: