Throwback Thursday: Terror Squad – “Lean Back” (Ft. Fat Joe, Remy)

Yo, I ain’t LYIN #TRUESTORY

So Hot Ma$e, and Eminem had to jump on the remix by way of Lil Jon. Peep it here:

Humpday Hymn: Zayn – “Pillowtalk” (Remix Ft. Lil Wayne)

Remember when we reported on One Direction break-up that had us, Kevin Hart and Ryan Reynolds all in a frenzy? Turns out he was up to this nonsense, which Weezy F Baby is fussin and fightin himself onto by way of the REMIX BABYYY!

ISIS “Moron” Tweets Base Location To United States Airforce, Then…

If you MUST choose a career in terrorism, and you MUST be a direct enemy of the United States, and you JUST GOTTA update your twitter followers on your sweet new territory gains – try not imploring the most advanced intelligence and Air Force in human history to play hide and seek/destroy with you.

This is advise a selfie-stick-wielding wonderkid could’ve used (that and try not being a terrorist in the first place). Taking a selfie and posting it on social media is the kind of stunt that gets these guys off, and frankly has been effective in recruiting 3,400 Westerners (including 200 Americans according to CNN).  But, leaving your geo-tagged LOCATION on? Come on, man. That’s the kinda stunt that gets you demoted or fired from your respective terrorist cell. If nothing else, it gets a bored Air Force Pilot… FIRED UP. When he was just chillin like so:

Dude…SOMEBODY tweet meeee!

According to Air Combat Command General Hawk Carlisle,

“The guys working down out of Hurlburt, they’re combing through social media and they see some moron standing at this command… in some social media, open forum, bragging about the command and control capabilities for Daesh, ISIL. And these guys go: ‘We got an in.’”

Let’s take a break here and imagine that scenario. Picture the young USAF intelligence officer. All he does ALL DAY is tirelessly scroll through propaganda timelines, and everything kinda blurs together after a while.  What’s the first thought that comes to mind when he realizes what they land on right before he takes a smoke bathroom break? “Nooo. This jackass CAN’T be for real!”  He calls the rest of the team like:

So everybody suits up like:

“Bruh, did you hear bout the idiot who tweeted us where to send these?”

Okay, let’s let the General finish:

“So they do some work, long story short, about 22 hours later through that very building, three [Joint Direct Attack Munitions] take that entire building out”

Ayyy! Peep MY selfie-swag, though! #GramOnFire

So the old saying is true… looks CAN kill.

Martha Stewart’s Tips for Prison and Birth-Control: Looking At You, Justin And Luda!

“Wanna make brownies again, Snoop?”

Really we could all use some of these gems:
1. Kevin Hart is niggarich/niggarish “African-American Rich”. [Watch ya mouth, lil fucker]
2. In jail, when they wanted a piece of Martha Stewart ass, Martha decided “some bitch needed to get got.”
3. A linen-based birth control tip for Ludacris you won’t see coming #ForcedPun.

Still Processing The One Direction Break-Up? BLAME DRAKE

The real reason Zayn left… actually

This just gets more and more twisted. Drake’s been reportedly stealing several people’s love interests recently (including Lil Wayne and Chris Brown TWICE). Apparently that’s not enough. The love of teenagers everywhere – One Direction – is the latest victim according to sources we won’t name because no free shoutouts. Drake’s latest victim, Zayn Malik has been “listening to a lot of Drake’s stuff. He’s hoping that some of the magic will rub off on him. (His new music is) very slowed down R&B and quite sexual. It’s going to blow fans’ minds”

A lot to process, but nobody’s taking it harder than some of the fellas below: