Humpday Hymn: Janelle Monae – Tightrope

Halfway through finals week?  You might be on either side of the fence about it, but you’ll be fine. That’s why we named this on-going series “Humpday Hymns”. Its all about sing-alongs to get you through the no-mans-land of the week by the time you press-play again.  So whether you’re high or low, and get up on ya tippy-toes, and chime on in on the tightrope! Now go back to studying!

If that didn’t do it for ya, you should be on the program by the immaculate remix on the flipside

Turnip Tuesday Tune: N.E.R.D. – “Everybody Nose” (Remix Ft. Kanye West, Lupe Fiasco, Pusha T)

Standout Line “She stopped drinkin’ Diet Coke, she’s on that Coke Diet”

My nose is stuffed from this flu, so that made me search “nose” in my library, and VOILA: Oldie-But-Goldie from these future-legends!  While most of America may now know Skateboard P for being the happiest man alive, most of his career consists of producing and belting on some of the most provocative pop mix that helped the likes of Britney Spears, Justin Timberlake, and even Snoop Dogg lock-in their respective spots in the party-hall-of-fame!  As the hook implies (and this Dayquil/Nyquil regiment has failed to help), this is the soundtrack to party girls in bathroom lines turning-up on ALL of the cocaine available in the vicinity clearing their nose.

P.s.
Turn your speakers lower just a bit, this song is recorded at a higher bit-rate and will rattle your ear-wax off! (Or maybe that’s just this flu. Phuck this flu.)

Morning Commute: “Dots & Lines” – Lupe Fiasco

Ben’s Diary: I Wore Skinny Jeans For The First Time And Nothing Happened

Dear Diary,

This past weekend I wore skinny jeans for the first time and nothing happened.

To properly tell this story, we’re going to have to go back, way back, all the way to the BIG BANG.  And then fast forward a lot, really fast to get to like whenever skinny jeans became a thing again.  And I say again because skinny jeans were fucking huge in the 50s.  Elvis, Marilyn Monroe, Gene Autry, some fictional dude named Cisco Kid, which aside in an aside, totally makes me want to hear the Thong Song remixed over a Cudder beat.  And if we’re being really historical in this bitch, skinny pants were like the dopest in the 1660s.  White wig wearing white men went fucking ape shit for their tight breeches, their tautness making it easier to run down would-be slaves.  Yes, I did some basic Wikipedia research on tight pants.  No, it’s not even close to the weirdest thing I researched yesterday.

Anyway, the Fiat of pants, I thought skinny jeans looked stupid as fuck when they were introduced to my life during their popularity boon of 20whenever.  I mainly had three issues with them: