Madonna

I’m not ready to take the news seriously yet. Not, because I’m delusional or in disbelief but, I honestly always thought of Prince as just some fixture. The mental image of that one-word-entity simply has not changed as long as I’ve been conscious of him because, well the real human hasn’t changed much either throughout the years. He’s also a larger-than-own-life character. What I mean by that is, there is Prince (the apparently air-breathing, water-drinking being capable of passing guy) then there’s the idea of Prince. Unlike most stars, these two were not separate. These beings were one in the same.

They say “all the best artists are a little crazy”. NO WHERE is that more true, sincere, and paradoxically apparent than in real life Prince anecdotes. Here are a few to laugh and gawk at…

1. Prince Vs. Fela Kuti, Questlove & Golf Cart Speed Limits

Prince likes Finding Nemo… A LOT. He demonstrates his appreciation for Questlove but, he definitely loves Finding Nemo more.

Key Quote: “He’s not payin attention and he’s concentrating on being a pool shark. He walks over to my booth and is like ‘play something else‘ ” (paraphrased)

2. Prince Vs. Michael Jackson, Quincy Jones, The World, Justin Bieber, Beck (?), Halle Berry, Larry King, Madonna, Michael Jackson AGAIN, Birthdays and Aging, and Kim Kardasian

The music speaks for itself and will be touched on later. The mind is psychotically genius. The one human part of Prince we can all replicate but, obviously can’t duplicate is the SHADE.
You might roll your eyes, or give a slight “psssh” at perceived peons in your presence.
His Purpleness always found a way to take it to another level – a level “Bye Felicia” couldn’t quite dismiss you enough to. A level deeper than any seat you wish would swallow you up as Prince OWNED you. Mean teenage girls (even of 2016) would look like angels compared to this Divo (which is apparently a word. who knew).

Key Quote: “I can’t be played… a person tryna play ME – plays themselves”

3. Prince Vs. Common Sense In General

This is generally the lengthiest Prince anecdote available and every minute of it unravels more and more layers of Prince mystery that leads to more moments of ‘WTF JUST HAPPENED?”

From mark 11:30 this quote of WTFness ensues
Key Quote: “Prince doesn’t comprehend things how you and I do… he’s been living in Prince world for some time now. Prince will say… ‘its 3 o’clock in the morning…in Minnesota I really need a camel. GO GET IT‘… he doesn’t understand why someone can’t process a simple request like that”

4. Prince Vs. Basketball Interviews, Common Sense, and Questlove ANOTHER AGAIN

DAMN Prince! BACK AT IT AGAIN with NO respect for other’s time in general, and a peculiar obsession with 3 AM disturbances!

Key Quote: “We weren’t supposed to call him Prince, and to avoid hitting his head with a basketball I’m like PR—… He brings the ball back, and he’s giggling like ‘na na na na na, YOU didn’t know what to call me‘ ”

My Take: This dude was the best of times, and the best of the worst of times for his friends. He was an inconvenience and difficulty they chose to invite into their lives over and over again for reasons they couldn’t quite comprehend themselves. There should be an ENTIRE podcast or even animated TV series of just Prince anecdotes. They are masterpieces that write themselves. Long Live Prince – King of Shade!

Not gonna lie, this interview format is kinda fresh. Madonna took to her webcam with nothing but a bottle of wine, cheese pizza, and a drastic shortage of phucks to give.

“You asked the million dollar question. I kissed a girl and I liked it.”, on Drake’s kissing abilities.

“Yes, I’d like to collaborate with Barack Obama“, on who she’d like to collaborate with (in music? O_o).

As if that wasn’t bad enough, material girl took more questions from her young (?) fans, and snapped open an umbrella of the coldest shade upon Drizzy Drake Rogers. With the presumable pinot pourin, as if to say “fuck it, I’m On One!”… When asked “what advice would you give to your younger self, knowing what you know now?” The Rebel Heart bled: