Straight Outta Topics: Memes Gone Dumb

Look, we get it. Friday’s are checkout days. In fact, here’s an excerpt based on a convo from last Friday:

Me: “When are we starting that new section of our fledgling blog again?”
Ben: “i dunno whenever…? Not on Friday though lol. Fridays are for slacking!”
Me: “*sigh… should there be a particular day for it?” (equally blase)
Ben: “Probably mannnnn. Like Thursday”
See? We’re right there with ya. But, that’s no excuse to start this nonsense, Internet! As Leland already previewed for us, the N.W.A. Biopic Straight Outta Compton is comin out. Apple/Beatbydre/Some-Movie-studio knows you all had checked out and were at Happy Hour, so they set this bait of a website and just watched. It’s clear it worked on you simpletons, and it didn’t take long! We’re very disappointed in what you did over the weekend, Internet! Very disappointed! *whispers*… its hilarious though, keep it up:

Well, not according to his poll numbers – amirite 😉 ?

Jerome’s in the house, watch ya mooooouf. #OriginalsPlaya

Original Rolling Stone, amirite?

Black America’s favorite white boy since Eminem via TV Show, Power. New Wire?

ACCURATE.

FINE, Iron Man! How bout being outta THINGS?

See Why You Should Revisit The Hood Classic: “Baby Boy”

Before he was chasin down alien humanoids, and ducking Michael Bay’s explosive Transformers, Tyrese was Jody – in John Singleton’s Baby Boy. Yvette (now Cookie on “Empire”) was her ride around town before he got with the Fast And The Furious. While Baby Boy depicted a conflicted young man dealing with the trap of hopelessness in South Central L.A., his best friend and supporting actor Omar Gooding played a phenomenally unapologetic Sweetpea. A ride-or-die homie of Jody’s… living with his girlfriend. AND MOM.

Here’s 5 Reasons You need to watch and appreciate this dynamic and probably the whole movie:

1. Sinuatin – it’s like insinuating, but it’s actually “conspiring”… that’s the word Sweetpea’s looking for. “conspiring”
2. Where does the foot go? We can… INSINUATE (there it is) that its where the sun don’t shine, but given the dynamics of this scene – NO rules apply.
3. “Unstable Creatures” – coz he ain’t gon’ say the “B” word. Such a respectful guy.
4. Strawberry Soda – it’s what you get a guest when they visit. Have some manners, you animals!
5. I’D LIKE TO THANK, MOM – you gotta love the mother more. Without her, the love triangle with her daughter wouldn’t exist. CIRCLE OF LIFE! THAT’S A METAPHOR, right Ben? That’s how those work?
{Ben’s Note: Auto-response. My weekend began after this morning’s commute. My voicemail is full. I’ve got bad reception. Yup.}

Bonus: When the strippers aint at work yet, get some liquor.

Watch The “Suicide Squad” Trailer And Go Slightly Psycho

Fresh off the heels of his Dallas Buyer’s Club Oscar Win, Jared Leto is joined by an all-star cast featuring Jaden Smith‘s Dad, Cara DeleThoughtSheWasJustASuperModel,  and Ben please-don’t-Affleck-up-Batman among others.  This won’t come out till Fall 2016, but the pull of Comic-Con, Marvel rackin up ALL the superhero blockbuster glory, and general excitement for this twisted tail featuring the re-introduction of The Joker was too much for adrenaline junkie David Ayers to resist giving us a peek.  Peep the gritty and nightmare inducing trailer here. Dare ya not to replay it:

Open Letter: Dear Bootleggers, MP3 Is Dead. PLEASE BURY IT!

Downloading music was cool – till it was “not so cool” to download music and they arrested people to make examples of them. We started on Napster, when that was a free thing. Then they got busted, and spiderman’s brother – Sean Parker moved along amicably. So did we, to Kazaa (or Bearshare, or whatever P2P sharing system got those viruses on your parents’ computers, but you denied it like the stone-cold vigilante you were).  All along, the bit-rate (basically how good the code makes the music file sound based on how its compressed If I lost ya already, its okay to move along and skip through) was confined to the bit-rate of around 128 kbps governed by the widely accepted “.mp3 standard”.

That was a mistake we made. All of us: the music industry that allowed that to be how music was digitally distributed, the hardware makers of “.mp3 players” (remember those?), and artists for allowing their hours of laborious art-work to go down the digital drain never to be appreciated again. That is bad!

How bad? That is the audio equivalent of watching the 3-D movie Avatar on that black and white T.V. with a big butt that your grandmother refused to let you connect your Nintendo to.  That is like viewing a Picasso painting or Basquiat for you new-age hippies through an Instagram-filtered photo taken from your friend’s iPhone 4 on that Euro-trip they took with their family.
[Sidenote: NOBODY CARES, JANET! YOUR FAMILY MIGHT BE “CULTURED” AND LOADED WITH FREQUENT FLIER MILES, BUT EVER THINK YOU’RE MISSING THE POINT IF YOU’RE INSTATWEETBOOKING EVERY GALLERY AND MONUMENT? IT’S ALMOST 4TH OF JULY, AND YOU’RE NOT HERE! ENJOY BEING “ON FLEEK” IN FOREIGN LANDS AND ABANDONING AMERICA! That’s BASICALLY TREASON. ALSO… get a better camera, OH WAIT YOU CAN’T IT’S AN IPHONE 4, YOUR PARENTS DON’T LOVE YOU, BYE JANET! BURN]
So here we are today. Streaming is the water all levels of listeners and audiophiles sip from.  The convenience of poppin open your Youtube (variable), Spotify (320 kbps), or – as of today – Apple Music app (256kbps) and hearing your jam instantly is unbeatable. That’s fair. However some of us dinosaurs still have the iPod Classic with a click-wheel (its 160 Gigs in the palm of my hand. Stream THAT).  We also load individual files to our iFuns (Pandora, and iTunes haven’t quite kept up with extensive catalogues of Young Thug, and Gucci Mane).  Whether it’s that, or putting together a dj set – the difference is definitely notable when your earphones or speakers puke out an .mp3 version of a mastered instrumentally dynamic album by D’Angelo, Kendrick Lamar, or Muse.  While streaming is still in its infancy (though growing fast), this is one of the main issues it is supposed to fix – raise music appreciation by fixing the audio quality for listeners.  We ALL LOVE the music. Whether we buy, stream, or steal illegally download it, that love remains steadfast. It’s how we treat and value it that is inexcusable today. So bloggers, new musicians, and online bootleggers – STOP POSTING MP3s for download! DEAD THAT.  Unless it’s the aforementioned thugger-thugger leak that will never land on iTunes or be worthy of higher mastering, consider it like the Zune laid to rest in the image above – DEAD.

Yours Musically,

-Audio African