Happy World Oceans Day… Or Not, My Bad

We’ve taken her for granted and misappropriated the embodiment of purity in waves. From Billy Ocean’s sonic abominations to Ocean 11’s atrocious violations of trust and honor, the ocean has been viciously tainted by humanity’s complete disregard for such a beautiful, and simple yet complex being.  On this day, June 8th, every year, we pause to remember that while we call it “God’s green Earth”… her wholly blueness covers 70% of this planet, holding over 90$% of our water hostage. Knowing that, explains why we have preemptively struck her bubbling wrath with a $hit-ton of our plastic, nuclear, fuel and every wastekind imaginable. GO HUMANS! [Animals, take note – you’re not safe either].

Sooo consider this our annual eternal “my bad”, Sister Ocean! We assume you’re a chick, because “Mother Nature”, and “Mother Earth” are already that. But, can’t call ya “Mother” ocean because I’ve never heard that, and don’t wanna assume you’d done the dirty-deed (besides, you know… holding our waste).

Anywhooo, here’s a few dedications from our brightest humans to you, Sister! Keep onnn Surfin 🙂

JR Smith And Analogies: A Chat That Goes Awry

-Begin Chat Transcription-

Ben
I spent all night brainstorming about JR Smith, but it looks like you already covered it. Normal grammar and capitalization caveats aside, that Cav’s celebration post was a dope format. I give it two JR Smiths out of ten lampshades.  That’s mathematically off the party charts.

Siya
Clearly… because JR Smith is a nuclear reactor.

Ben
Truth. JR Smith is to life as a bullet is to dessert.