It’s Allen Iverson’s 41st birthday today. Last year we told you “40 Years of Practice Makes Perfect in our tribute to AI . What better time to remind us all of “The Answer’s” greatness than his Top 10 plays in Philly attire?
…Right, Tyronn Lue?
If you can’t beat, join em. Or at least, join the roasting… on yourself?
Whoever is the Atlanta Hawks social media manager was clowning his own team better than the Cavs “unprofessional” shock-and-awe pummeling that set the new record for 3-point shots made in a single half last night.
Follow this tweet-trail to find the exact moment @ATLHawks went from “aw man, we gotta do somethin about this” to “WELP… we’re here now… this is our reality. History doesn’t repeat itself, it rhymes…a cruel cruel rhyme – LET’S SING ALONG 🙂 ”
Invoking Atlanta’s own Cici with the gifs. That’s usually what they say right before the roller coaster violently throws you off in a loop di loop and you’re dead half way through the ride (or in this metaphor, Game 2) starts.
All these Cookie flavors, and @ATLHawks was already feelin salty
Grey’s Anatomy wit it… or is this General Hospital? I don’t know – I haven’t seen either. That’s just the look the Doc gives you right before he goes in the other room and throws up in horror (trickle back to roller-coaster metaphor up top)
Note the score here… look closer… at the Hawks score pictured… THERE HE IS… The Crying GOAT. No scapegoats for this massacre, though. Everyone was equally helpless and culpable, HAWKS.
@ATLHawks is fairly lit at this point. If the Hawks get swept by Cavs AGAIN – this should be how they teach children in Atlanta to count to 10.
You better put some RESPEK on @ATLHawks twitter account (not so much the team)… ALL TREEs (read: threes)
What happened happened and couldn’t have happened any other way… how does @ATLHawks know? “we’re still alive” #Matrix3logyReference #Dead
You know why we STILL colloquially refer to dope people in arbitrary clutch moments as “The Real MVP”? THIS IS WHY:
Almost a year to the exact day later, speaking to the very media and spectator audience that praised that heartfelt speech, voted him MVP, and coddled his fledgling superstar public image with the velvet gloves of a french masseuse aaand how does newborn baby K.D. feel about that crew?:
You guys really don’t know (expletive). , I’m only here talking to y’all because I have to… I really don’t care. Y’all not my friends.
Some context: That quote was after he was asked about the validity of then Head Coach Scott Brooks’ pending dismissal from the perpetually underwhelming OKC Thunder, Durant lead.
Update: Scott Brooks was fired -_-
For the sake of time, and general apathy we’ll skip every other DuRANT Kevin has had (get it? coz that’s his name? and he RANTS a bunch?) since those tend to involve everything BUT his notable absence from the NBA finals with a very capable squad. Let’s look at his reaction to Kobe Bryant’s retirement.
Kobe’s retirement came as a surprise to the few people who didn’t realize he had a 1 year contract left, and the Lakers are clearly gearing for a complete team rebuild in the post Kobe era (a VERY Kobe-centric era that included curbing 3 time champ, Shaq – and wasting Dwight Howard’s further dwindling window of opportunity in potential greatness). The expectation was that Kobe knows he’s still got something left in the tank for one more season, and won’t look like Wizard’s Jordan, Piston’s Iverson, or Celtic’s Shaq. Needless to say, Kobe explicitly made it clear that he doesn’t want a Derek-Jeter-style farewell tour where players and spectators are “lobbing him softballs” (and going easy on him). TRUE COLD-BLOODED MAMBA FASHION. RESPEK.
So as this 2015 season gets rollin, and Kobe’s shooting EVERY POSSIBLE SHOT (not new) but, scoring 4 pts (that happened). Nobody was gonna give old-man-Bryant an “A for effort”. Bryant himself wouldn’t have it any other way. But know who apparently WOULD? That’s right, Count DuRANTula himself:
“He’s a legend, and all I hear is about how bad he’s playing, how bad he’s shooting and it’s time for him to hang it up. You guys (media/spectators) treated one of our legends like $hit, and I didn’t really like it.”
-_- Kevin. GTFOH. Focus on helping Russell Westbrook and matching his relentless efforts. Wouldn’t it be nice to stand a chance in the treacherous Western Conference one more time before this team’s Championship window inevitably shuts? Maybe take a page out of D. Rose’s book, and just quietly collect checks while pitching in when you can on the court. Congrats on your new-found freedom of speech, hopefully they’ve got championship rings in that same lost-and-found box. You don’t have to be a mute, but all your DuRANTS are starting to get old and moot.
Update – Here’s Kobe’s ACTUAL agreeing with this exact post. We know he’s a reader:
Michael Jordan once closed his eyes while shooting free throws. Iverson is known for the step-over after crossing up a defender then draining a 3 on them. But, Steph Curry is nicer than those guys – nonetheless deadly with the shot, however. Steph Curry knows the future, and won’t be bothered by waiting for the perfect 3 point swish like the rest of the mortals in professional basketball. GIVE HIM 5, NOW!
It’s not even NBA season yet, and I get the feeling we’ll be forced to post a bunch of these by this guy. Simply deplorable behavior. Somebody stop him!
Salute to King James. It’s no secret that I’m #TeamLeBron, but we gotta pump the brakes on the standom here. This viral graphic has been flooding timelines since it was announced that Lebron would sponsor college scholarships in his hometown. That’s very generously thoughtful and we’re a fan of the kindness, but this here is absolute rubbish. Say it with me, now…Athletes/Celebrities OWE US NOTHING. “The only stat that counts” in comparing these two greats is the NBA championships. PERIOD. JORDAN IS 6/6, LEBRON IS 2/4. So, what Jordan and LeBron do with their billion-dollar earned wealth (Jordan – present, LeBron – future) maybe worth celebrating, but can NOT be used in the already fiery age-old debate about the two.
THAT SAID, we might as well air out some…damp laundry. Sorry, I’m not sorry, BEN and all Jordan-worshipers:
1. I still believe LeBron would wax MJ 1-on-1 (bigger, faster, stronger. please shut up – my reasoning is as iron clad as yours).
2. I would even say Dream Team would get the business from 2014 Olympic Team,
3. and yes… I’m a Pats fan CLEARLY, and I put my coat on when Kearse made that cursed-freak pass, so the Seahawks DEFINITELY should have ran the damn ball!
Shaq is enjoying his summer, but does not have Charles Barkley to publicly troll on national TV as he did during the NBA season. So in his time off “gone fishin“, he put out a ‘gram of bait with an interesting debate out there to start off the week:
Scottie beamed on up for the bite. He just can’t get enough of edifying himself as the great we all know he is. But, he poked a very bored bear in literal hibernation:
*sigh* Bad-Boy, Baby. Shaq can’t stop… won’t stop. eh-eh, eh-eh. Nice visual ya got there, Scottie… be a shaaame if somethin were to happen to it:
So Pippen switched guns, and fired at Shaq’s free throw misfires:
Shaq found a life-long chink in Scottie’s armor, and just kept firing, adding a special shout-out to his old endorsement company.
Continue reading GOT EEEM: Shaq Is Mercilessly Cyberbullying Scottie Pippen For Our Amusement.
You know, it seems awfully mean of whoever stealth edited the standard Wikipedia profile for free agent with a capital b Baller, LaMarcus Aldridge today. Didn’t they know that today was Canada Day? It’s a little rude to pull on the heartstrings like that during a national holiday. Don’t tease the possibility of him signing with the Raptors. Sure, he said he’d meet with them. But people are always saying nice things about Canada they don’t mean. Like, “Yeah, my vacation to Niagra Falls was great.” Or “No, it’s not weird at all to have the queen of another country on the front of your twenty dollar bill.”
LaMarcus Aldridge will, in all likelihood, end up as the newest commanding officer on the basketball Death Star that is the San Antonio Spurs. That’s good for him; he’s from Texas. That’s good for the Spurs; he’s a great basketball player. Those last two sentences were strange for me; I never use semi-colons. They were also sad for Canada; the Raptors are not located in San Antonio. Anyway, don’t play mean tricks on Canada on Canada Day. Don’t give false hope to our friendly neighbors to the north. That’s a terrible birthday gift.
Although… maybe that’s not a prank so much a drunken Canadian’s celebratory wish, a crazed idea born in maddening flames like a former Toronto mayor’s pipe dream? If that’s the case, keep doing do you Canada. And happy Canada Day!
UPDATE: But hey, Canada, it looks like you got DeMarre Carroll! That’s not LaMarcus Aldridge, but he does have two letters capitalized in his first name and is a pretty good basketball player!
You may know him for the infamous “Practice Rant“. Sure, that might be the defining clip that sports and pop culture has chosen to go with. But, that’s as fitting of a description of the man’s legacy as summing up President Bill Clinton’s two terms in office with the”I did NOT have sexual relations with that woman” clip on loops everytime he’s mentioned. You’re missing why and how significant the man was to his trade at the time he was active, and the impact he left behind.
That impact resonates to this day in how today’s best NBA Player talks about my favorite of all time pictured above. I’m doomed in 6ixers fandom forever, because of that 2001 Playoffs I watched him, Dikembe, and Larry Brown drag scrubs to the finals against Kobe, Shaq, and Big Phil. Feel free to instagram search “Allen Iverson” to see the pop culture impact AI had on the NBA image-wise from the cornrows, to the tattoos that today seem all too much the norm. Watch Russell Westbrook, 2008 Rajon Rondo, and Kyrie Irving (hopefully next season, since he’s out for his first finals) to see guys who have emulated the tenacity, hard-drive, and relentless doggishness of the point guard position. Like AI – but, perhaps not to such a degree – these guys have paid dearly for that hard play with crippling injuries as they put the team on their respective backs.
That’s what made watching AI exciting to watch night after night (even in regular season). You knew he left EVERYTHING on the court. Off the court, he was no less influential (perhaps even more). They changed rules because of this guy- On and off the court. The current dress code banning Timberland boots, do-rags, and fitted hats instituted by then commissioner David Stern? Allen Iverson. The “Iverson Rule” inspired dribble policy that gave defenders a chance to piece together their ankles? The Answer! Don’t believe me? Ask Jordan, and everyone else who tried to square up against the man. No amount of practice can give anybody a chance against that. Jordan is undisputed as a player. However, the swagger of a ball player as we know it today is ultimately defined by this guy. That will never be the same. 40 years of practicing it on and off the court made it perfect. Long Live, The Answer!
THE FINALS ARE HERE! THE FINALS ARE HERE! THE FINALS ARE HERE! Are you fucking ready or what?
It’s been a while since I’ve dove off the deep end into some NBA coverage. But dude… IT’S THE FINALS. LEBRON VS CURRY. MVP VS MVP. Oh man, I’m ridiculously excited. I had to jump back in! In honor of the best two week stretch of the year, here are some key head to head (but not in the literal matchup-on-the-court basketball sense) battles that will decide the NBA Finals. If you possess superb attention to detail you might notice that I’ve listed the Golden State Warriors player first in every title. That’s because they’re the higher seed. It’s also because *SPOILER ALERT* I think they’re going to win the series. Continue reading The 2015 NBA Finals Preview
Ben and Siya Blog Shit 