It’s Allen Iverson’s 41st birthday today. Last year we told you “40 Years of Practice Makes Perfect in our tribute to AI . What better time to remind us all of “The Answer’s” greatness than his Top 10 plays in Philly attire?
…Right, Tyronn Lue?
The best image of the weekend is the posterchild for the saying “picture is worth a thousand words” It’s the most iconic retirement image of the year from none other than #BEASTMODE
It was supposed to be the retirement of a certain 2 Time Super bowl Champion QB ON THE OCCASION. But such a quarterback who shall remain nameless is feelin himself right now and bordering on Brett Favre diva levels of coy on the question.
It’s almost like he didn’t just have the worst quarterback rating and offensive yards in Super Bowl winners history. ANYWAY, this isn’t about him.
This image represents a GRACIOUS man of few words. Like their owner, when it comes to those whats on this photo, what you see is what you got. Hanging up there they almost dare spectators “You know why I’m here“, and promise “I’m about that action!” ✌🏾️
As one teammate put it “wats understood ain’t gotta be explained…“. So consider the following a history lesson for your kids, or nieces and nephews:
Those cleats carried the most explosive Continue reading The Best Image Of This Super Bowl Weekend Had Nothing To Do With This Super Bowl…
As Future once surmised, “you do watchu want when you poppin”. Well it don’t get mo poppin than being virtually unstoppable by ANY cornerback on the field, and being arguably the best receiver in football (shut up, Julio!). Big Ben knows it when he lobs bombs miles where he knows Brown will reach no matter what, and special teams everywhere better recognize it when they punt to the man. Unless of course they wanna set the mood for Brown and his new found love, the goalpost.
Watch this goofy ass celebration that you should NEVER try at home if you wanna keep your family jewels:
This makes way more sense in cartoon form: Continue reading Watch The Goofiest And Most Awesome TD Celebration Of The Year, Thank Antonio Brown
You know why we STILL colloquially refer to dope people in arbitrary clutch moments as “The Real MVP”? THIS IS WHY:
Almost a year to the exact day later, speaking to the very media and spectator audience that praised that heartfelt speech, voted him MVP, and coddled his fledgling superstar public image with the velvet gloves of a french masseuse aaand how does newborn baby K.D. feel about that crew?:
You guys really don’t know (expletive). , I’m only here talking to y’all because I have to… I really don’t care. Y’all not my friends.
Some context: That quote was after he was asked about the validity of then Head Coach Scott Brooks’ pending dismissal from the perpetually underwhelming OKC Thunder, Durant lead.
Update: Scott Brooks was fired -_-
For the sake of time, and general apathy we’ll skip every other DuRANT Kevin has had (get it? coz that’s his name? and he RANTS a bunch?) since those tend to involve everything BUT his notable absence from the NBA finals with a very capable squad. Let’s look at his reaction to Kobe Bryant’s retirement.
Kobe’s retirement came as a surprise to the few people who didn’t realize he had a 1 year contract left, and the Lakers are clearly gearing for a complete team rebuild in the post Kobe era (a VERY Kobe-centric era that included curbing 3 time champ, Shaq – and wasting Dwight Howard’s further dwindling window of opportunity in potential greatness). The expectation was that Kobe knows he’s still got something left in the tank for one more season, and won’t look like Wizard’s Jordan, Piston’s Iverson, or Celtic’s Shaq. Needless to say, Kobe explicitly made it clear that he doesn’t want a Derek-Jeter-style farewell tour where players and spectators are “lobbing him softballs” (and going easy on him). TRUE COLD-BLOODED MAMBA FASHION. RESPEK.
So as this 2015 season gets rollin, and Kobe’s shooting EVERY POSSIBLE SHOT (not new) but, scoring 4 pts (that happened). Nobody was gonna give old-man-Bryant an “A for effort”. Bryant himself wouldn’t have it any other way. But know who apparently WOULD? That’s right, Count DuRANTula himself:
“He’s a legend, and all I hear is about how bad he’s playing, how bad he’s shooting and it’s time for him to hang it up. You guys (media/spectators) treated one of our legends like $hit, and I didn’t really like it.”
-_- Kevin. GTFOH. Focus on helping Russell Westbrook and matching his relentless efforts. Wouldn’t it be nice to stand a chance in the treacherous Western Conference one more time before this team’s Championship window inevitably shuts? Maybe take a page out of D. Rose’s book, and just quietly collect checks while pitching in when you can on the court. Congrats on your new-found freedom of speech, hopefully they’ve got championship rings in that same lost-and-found box. You don’t have to be a mute, but all your DuRANTS are starting to get old and moot.
Update – Here’s Kobe’s ACTUAL agreeing with this exact post. We know he’s a reader:
The NCAA never has its shortage of scandals – whether its program wide, or at the individual level. When crisis 1st hits the headlines, rival programs and fans are usually the 1st to go. “What an idiot! CRAB LEGS? CAN HIM”… then the coach has to respond with condemnation (or a delay of such) of the player and reverberating public opinion.
So, if what college your young star athlete commits to hinges on how the head coach will treat them on and off the field – checkout what he had to say when asked about his starting QB’s recent brush ups with the law (vis-a-vis: driving while impaired):
Impressed? Not everyone could turn a blindside to the hypocrisy:
Some perspective on that, this appears to be young Barrett’s 1st infraction. While I don’t agree with Meyer’s cheap shot, I’m sure it had something to do with the fact that the crab legs incidence was AFTER 1st round overall pick, Jameis Winston already had been embattled with sexual assault accusations…that or Meyer was just saying whatever it takes to sell his book in Bill O’Reilly’s “No Spin Zone” – take your pick.
That’s the thing, about being Godfather… when your family does it, it’s part of business ie”We’ll carry on” … if somebody else does, it’s personal ie “they gotta go”.
In case you missed it, October’s our cynical celebration of our favorite death season. Every day, Ben will present one thing that scares him, ranging from the anxious and annoying to the deadly and doomed. This Right Here Is My…SWAG is one of those things that scares me:
On behalf of South Africans everywhere, I’d like to pass my condolences apologies. Ben claims to be American but, I have my doubts. I’ve known Americans to be a fearless bunch INVENTING phones, MOCKING the itsy bitsy spiders with their kids, and hanging out in public bathrooms during football games to warm up during the winter (good call to my freshman year professor for that recommendation) – not FEARing those things or anyone!
Americans are a proud folk who have somehow coined, trademarked, and completely monopolized the indelible “WE’RE NUMBER 1” sports chant… (patent pending). That holds true until some South Africans beat the snot out of the American “Eagles” in the Rugby World Cup as they did this past weekend with a decisive 64-0 Shutout. 64-0.. SIXTY FOUR. GOOD GAWD… You don’t have to understand the scoring in Rugby to get how terrible that is. America, meet me in the next paragraph, if you would be so kind.
Look, America. You’re good, right? I know your favorite newsman was recently replaced by South African, Trevor Noah – which will get awkward when he comes to talk $hit to Americans, about Americans… I would never do that, America! You know me! Known me more than half my life! I love you, America! I love BASEBALL…HOCKEY…FOOTBALL…BASKETBALL… LEBRON JAMES, and HE’S American! Right? I love the Hawks! Not the Seattle Seahawks. They’re posers, and need to give that “Go Hawks” patent up to the Iowa Hawks of the heartland of farmin, hard-working, bread-basket, plain accent, this-ain’t-heaven-but-it’s-close IOWA! But I’m scared, America.
My fear is that thanks to this recent ass-handing by my Springboks, losing your beloved Jon Stewart, and Donald Trump’s surge in the polls – I will be issued a challenge in the immortal words of Iowa quarterback, Ricky Stanzi:
I love it. I don’t wanna leave it. So, despite that EMBARRASSMENT OF INTERNATIONAL PROPORTIONS America, WE still cool, right?
Yours Sincerely,
-South African
Michael Jordan once closed his eyes while shooting free throws. Iverson is known for the step-over after crossing up a defender then draining a 3 on them. But, Steph Curry is nicer than those guys – nonetheless deadly with the shot, however. Steph Curry knows the future, and won’t be bothered by waiting for the perfect 3 point swish like the rest of the mortals in professional basketball. GIVE HIM 5, NOW!
It’s not even NBA season yet, and I get the feeling we’ll be forced to post a bunch of these by this guy. Simply deplorable behavior. Somebody stop him!
It’s about TIME! Do you realize how many times I have heard you people speak and wanted to tear my hair out??? A lot, that’s how much! This is why I don’t have the dreadlocks I was destined to have.
{Ben’s Note: Woah, woah, woah! What the fuck do you mean “YOU PEOPLE”?}
Here’s a test. Read the following words out loud: “NIKE”… “AUNT”… “ZEBRA”. Easy, right?
If you’re one of these 3 people, you are “YOU PEOPLE”, and I hate you. Fix Yourself:
1. You read the sports apparel name as “ny-kee”. -_- Oh, you did? When did you learn to ride a “bi-kee”, huh? Think this will get a buncha “li-kees” when you share it with your dumb friends on facebook-ee? WELL, DO YA, PUNK-EE?
2. Your parent’s sister is actually a small disproportionately strong insect. She lives in an ant-hill, and serves the collective will of the colony. Why else would you pronounce her title like that? You should be pronouncing it like the delicious pastry “croissANT”. On another note, French is idiotic too. Way dumber. Let’s just surrender that battle of pronunciation and hope Americans have a plan to help.
3. Ever met a chick named Debra? I bet you did, and thought “I’ll have NO problem pronouncing THAT girl’s name. Debra… Debra Debra Debra Debraaaaa” Then, you were smacked in the head with a stupid stick, and when you saw this striped animal, your brain forgot how to pronounce her name, and that’s why you should thank my fellow South African, Trevor Noah for restoring your speech and pathology here:
If you came here for content, turn around and get the fuck out now, bro. Because this is allllllll Tom Brady all the time up in here! WE’RE TALKING FOUR RINGS FOR FREEDOM BABY! Tom Brady is a free man. FREE. Minus the cost of lawyers, bitches.
It’s time to celebrate and ride that pretty boy’s coattails. Let’s search engine optimize the fuck out of this blog!
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Ugh, yeah, give me those clicks. CLICK ME GOOD, BABY! CLICK ME SO GOOD. CLICK ME GOOD-ELL!
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THAT’S RIGHT MOTHAFUCKERS, GOOGLE THAT SHIT. COME TO PAPA. YOU KNOW YOU WANT IT. DON’T DEFLATEGATE ME, DARLING.
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Ugh, didn’t that feel nice? You want more? YOU WANT THESE FOOTBALLS, DON’T CHA? DON’T YOU WISH YOUR BALLGHAZI BLOG WAS OPTIMIZED LIKE ME (DONTCHA)?
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NFL! Courts! New England Patriots! Victory! Super Bowl! Cheaters! Scandal! Deflated! Footballs! Ball boys! Appeal! Suspension! Four Games! FUCK YEAH, THAT’S THE GOOD SHIT RIGHT THERE, GIVE IT ALL TO ME. GIVE ME ALL YOUR KEYWORDS YOU DIRTY FOOTBALL CHEATING FUCKBOYS!
I’mma go tag the shit out of this post now. TOM BRADY, BITCHES. Tom Brady.
Ben and Siya Blog Shit 