Atlanta Hawks Twitter Was WAYYY More Entertaining Than Cavs 3-Point Storm.

Posted on by Siya

If you can’t beat, join em. Or at least, join the roasting… on yourself?

Whoever is the Atlanta Hawks social media manager was clowning his own team better than the Cavs “unprofessional” shock-and-awe pummeling that set the new record for 3-point shots made in a single half last night.
Follow this tweet-trail to find the exact moment @ATLHawks went from “aw man, we gotta do somethin about this” to “WELP… we’re here now… this is our reality. History doesn’t repeat itself, it rhymes…a cruel cruel rhyme – LET’S SING ALONG 🙂 ”

Invoking Atlanta’s own Cici with the gifs. That’s usually what they say right before the roller coaster violently throws you off in a loop di loop and you’re dead half way through the ride (or in this metaphor, Game 2) starts.

All these Cookie flavors, and @ATLHawks was already feelin salty

Grey’s Anatomy wit it… or is this General Hospital? I don’t know – I haven’t seen either. That’s just the look the Doc gives you right before he goes in the other room and throws up in horror (trickle back to roller-coaster metaphor up top)

Note the score here… look closer… at the Hawks score pictured… THERE HE IS… The Crying GOAT. No scapegoats for this massacre, though. Everyone was equally helpless and culpable, HAWKS.

@ATLHawks is fairly lit at this point. If the Hawks get swept by Cavs AGAIN – this should be how they teach children in Atlanta to count to 10.

You better put some RESPEK on @ATLHawks twitter account (not so much the team)… ALL TREEs (read: threes)

What happened happened and couldn’t have happened any other way… how does @ATLHawks know? “we’re still alive” #Matrix3logyReference #Dead

 

Top 10 Dark Humored Posts For Columbus Day

Posted on by Siya

Here are 10 Columbus Day haters we wanna hate with, but also kinda hate on when their own hate ain’t enough.
{Side-bar/Rant The fact that this is still a holiday nationally recognized of the dude who landed in America by accident is mind-boggling. In fact, he never even SET FOOT on what is now modern day U.S.A.  He landed in the Caribbean… bounced around a few islands, then on later trips hit up Central and South America. Look it up, I don’t work for you!}
Anyway…Internet, HATE BETTER, PLEASE!
Best,
-BSBS

Continue reading Top 10 Dark Humored Posts For Columbus Day

Top 7 Vicious Reactions To Geno Smith’s Broken Jaw #NoChillZone

Posted on by Siya

*smfh*. Look at y’all! You’re proud of yourselves, aint you? With that smug-face, looking at the New York Jets already uphill battle to bhahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAH! NO…. NO! It’s not funny! That man is now out for virtually the whole season because, he had a teammate who was as much of a childish ass as y’all are for these jokes about Geno Smith’s broken jaw! Let’s review some of what you said:

1

2

3

4

LEAVE. MY PATRIOTS. OUT OF THIS.

5

Fun Fact: Kanye’s jaw was fractured in 3 places. Geno’s jaw got fractured in 3 places. Coincidence? I DON’T THINK SO!

6

Succint. Straight to the punchline. We’ll allow it… like Geno did.

7

https://twitter.com/richarddeitsch/status/631167050250067968

If you have a problem with me bloggin about Trump, you should probably take 5…. months, or however long it will take for him to drop out.

Okay, we get the general drift of this. How bout we try one?
Sources close to the Jets say Geno threw the first punch… but it was intercepted as it was 6 yards short. 

How’s that? That work? Uuuh, you’re the twitterers… not us. But follow us there @benandsiyablog
Then see if any of our non-violent suggestions over $600 disputes are fitting for ya next office altercation, eh?

World War Tweef Is Upon Us! Also Some Real Issues, But TWEEFS!

Posted on by Siya

To “tweef” is to hold a public argument (beef) via Twitter tweets or Facebook status updates or any other 21st century petty forum. Watup Instagram.  That’s been what’s in this week, and as of late. It’s ugly, it’s petty, and goes viral fast with retweets, and shares, and likes, and subtweets, and blogs that have the time to cover this nonsense instead of the revolutionary Iran Nuke Deal. We ALWAYS have time to not cover the revolutionary Iran Nuke Deal. Even though we mentioned it 3 times you STILL, won’t look up the revolutionary Iran Nuke Deal! See? YOU DIDN’T. So forget ISIL for a minute, and recognize the one threat to our collective peaceful online order: TWEEFIN. These are the hot spots that have flared up this week, along with some other stuff, BY THE WAY:

shaq scottie tweefin benandsiyablog
Shaq Vs. Scottie

1. Summary:  We covered this one in it’s petty instagram story.Shaq has not officially declared the end, but let’s consider it like the Korea War (technically the war never ended, read a book). Stalemate.

BY THE WAY – speaking of two relatively out of sight giants any word on those TWO MISSING AIRLINES of humans over a year ago, or are we just cutting our human losses there?

Resolution: Can’t call it. But if the most heartless trash-talkers his Airness, and the heir-apparent Kobe get into this – could turn into a full out NBA off-season Tweef. Let this one breath a bit. You’re welcome, ESPN!

Nicki Minaj Vs. MTV Vs. Taylor Vs. Katy Perry
Nicki Minaj Vs. MTV Vs. Taylor Vs. Katy Perry

2. Summary:  MTV Video Music Awards announced nominations. The top award is “Video Of The Year”, and Nicki had some racey theories of why she was snubbed. Taylor raced to unwarranted defense. Katy saw the waters splashing in the wishing well, and added her 2 cents. In all discussions and coverage we’ve gotten from this one. The best point is from a tweet reading:

https://twitter.com/sirSLAYSalot/status/623914567257591808

BY THE WAY – Speaking of women in uncomfortable positions… any word on indictments of cops in the uncomfortably suspicious death of Sandra Bland in police custody?

Resolution: Taylor proposed “you can join me on any stage I win”. So Taylor wins, Nicki takes her up on her generous offer to join her on stage… Sooo that she can talk about how racist show that just gave her that award is.. while Taylor awkwardly waits in the background with her moon-man? O_o  Sure America will applaud that move, don’t believe me, Ask Yeezus.
Update: Taylor realized her misstep and threw in the towel

Continue reading World War Tweef Is Upon Us! Also Some Real Issues, But TWEEFS!

ISIS “Moron” Tweets Base Location To United States Airforce, Then…

Posted on by Siya

If you MUST choose a career in terrorism, and you MUST be a direct enemy of the United States, and you JUST GOTTA update your twitter followers on your sweet new territory gains – try not imploring the most advanced intelligence and Air Force in human history to play hide and seek/destroy with you.

This is advise a selfie-stick-wielding wonderkid could’ve used (that and try not being a terrorist in the first place). Taking a selfie and posting it on social media is the kind of stunt that gets these guys off, and frankly has been effective in recruiting 3,400 Westerners (including 200 Americans according to CNN).  But, leaving your geo-tagged LOCATION on? Come on, man. That’s the kinda stunt that gets you demoted or fired from your respective terrorist cell. If nothing else, it gets a bored Air Force Pilot… FIRED UP. When he was just chillin like so:

Dude...SOMEBODY tweet meeee!
Dude…SOMEBODY tweet meeee!

According to Air Combat Command General Hawk Carlisle,

“The guys working down out of Hurlburt, they’re combing through social media and they see some moron standing at this command… in some social media, open forum, bragging about the command and control capabilities for Daesh, ISIL. And these guys go: ‘We got an in.’”

Let’s take a break here and imagine that scenario. Picture the young USAF intelligence officer. All he does ALL DAY is tirelessly scroll through propaganda timelines, and everything kinda blurs together after a while.  What’s the first thought that comes to mind when he realizes what they land on right before he takes a smoke bathroom break? “Nooo. This jackass CAN’T be for real!”  He calls the rest of the team like:

So everybody suits up like:

Bruh, did you hear bout the idiot who tweeted us where to send these?
“Bruh, did you hear bout the idiot who tweeted us where to send these?”

Okay, let’s let the General finish:

“So they do some work, long story short, about 22 hours later through that very building, three [Joint Direct Attack Munitions] take that entire building out”

Ayyy! Peep MY selfie-swag, doe! #GramOnFire
Ayyy! Peep MY selfie-swag, though! #GramOnFire

So the old saying is true… looks CAN kill.

Ben’s Diary: Jaden Smith Is Off Twitter, And I’m Bugging The Fuck Out!

Posted on by Siya

Dear Diary,

This is Siya. Ben was in a last minute rush to pack, and phone-in the rest of his crusty-ass potatoes of the day.  He left you in America, right next to this passport looking thing…Oh well, must not be important.

You know WTF IS important? JADEN SMITH WISDOM! YOU KNOW WTF happened to THAT? GONE!… ALL OF IT!… NO EXPLANATION, but a big blue twitter background with “Sorry that page doesn’t exist!” WHHHAT in the ACTUAL phuck is that about? 

“That’s why you screenshot things”

Really? I was just supposed to foresee the future and screenshot every damn thing Jaden Smith tweeted? Do you realize how stupid you sound? Jaden tweets are to be internalized, and used as mantras in deep meditation and self-reflection of all that is, was, and will be – not SCREENSHOTTED to live in some abyss of an ever phone-clogging camera roll next to your dick-pics!

“Maybe this is a test”

YO, I’m buggin! It’s like that Tony Robbins book you have and never read, you know? You just need to know its there to read 10 pages of it from time to time and pretend to be a new person for a bit.  But , its GONE NOW, MAN!

“Don’t Question Jaden“

Damn. This is truly a test. I don’t know of what! I don’t know why. I don’t know anything.

I’m alone now… until I find me. Maybe Jaden would want it this way.
#BringBackOurJaden

Tweet Talk: Baltimore Riots Blame Game

Posted on by Siya

I’ll be honest, when Ben asked “So Baltimore…” (expecting at the very least a fact-based-quip of how bad it had gotten), I had not seen a single significant piece of news coverage on it, and had no clue of the facts about what was happening.

Then, early Monday evening I casually stopped by a buddy’s place during a bike ride, intending to pressure the cheap-ass into ordering the Mayweather-Pacquaio fight this coming Saturday. No dice, of course 😏. He was watching news coverage of the events unfolding after Freddie Gray’s funeral. I watched as CNN, Fox, and MSNBC all played virtually the same loop of violence and looting, compete with the mayor disowning the violence, and disbelief of how bad it has gotten.

Yesterday morning, after a state of emergency had been declared (read: $hit got too real), the inevitable finger-wagging stage of these kinds of events started. Undoubtedly this will be followed by an Al Sharpton cameo, then an Al Sharpton diss from the local population for ambulance chasing, and so on until the news coverage gets old and reverts back to regularly scheduled election-cycle news season.

While this African doesn’t have a take on the entirety of this occurrence and breakout, it is comforting to hear from some familiar voices, remixing their same tunes: Continue reading Tweet Talk: Baltimore Riots Blame Game